Photo by cottonbro studio
For the past year my back has been giving me trouble. Not consistently, and not usually in the same place, but just enough to be really inconvenient and to make me feel like I’m letting it down somehow. Of course I should exercise more (or at least not sit so much), and I have the best of intentions, but this is one area of my life where I can’t seem to get my shit together.
So what do I do when I don’t want to take responsibility for my own problem? I pay someone to fix it for me. In this case, my incredible chiropractor Charlotte. A year ago she gave me about a dozen stretches, but did I do them? Of course not. Actually, I did them all once and realized the whole thing took too long so I quickly cut them down to the two easiest, then none at all. Of course that meant after shovelling the first big snow fall of the year I found myself back in her office again in even more pain.
Charlotte isn’t pushy, but she’s just suggestive enough to let me know that if I really wanted to exercise I could figure it out (of course I could), but in the meantime I’m giving her all the reasons why I can’t. Between school drop-off 30 minutes away, keeping the house running, and my partner going back to school for his PhD leaving all the household income on my shoulders, I’m exhausted and stressed all the time. “Who has time for exercise?!” I ask her.
“But” I say “I could probably do a stretch or two. What is the absolute most important one I should do?”
She looks me in the eyes and says “Just breathe.”
I almost burst into tears right then and there. Part of me was annoyed, but the bigger part of me felt relief.
For the first time in my life I actually did the exercises a practitioner prescribed, and it all started to come together. Breathing is what we teach kids to do when they’re upset. It’s the central premise of yoga. It’s what my friend Laura Perkins is always reminding me of. It was the reminder on the tarot card I drew last night to prepare for the week. It really is the most basic essential.
I’m taking a few lessons from this I thought I could share with you today:
Maybe I can get stuff done AND prioritize my body
I spend so much time rushing around filling my schedule to the brim, and maybe I get more done (maybe I don’t), but at what cost? For me that cost is the functioning of my body, among other things. And I don’t just mean work. I absolutely over-schedule my personal life, too. What would happen if I put my body first? This morning I did yoga with my daughter to start the day, and took a break writing this article to go for a walk with some friends. Maybe rushing is okay if it’s to get to things that really matter?
Sometimes it’s enough to just breathe
What we don’t do can be just as important as what we do. In this case, taking a minute to breathe without doing anything else at the same time was certainly more important than anything else I could have been doing in that single minute. Checking my phone? Can wait. Eating lunch? Can wait. Responding to that email? Yup, it can wait, too.
It’s our life’s work to figure ourselves out
We all have different motivations, energy levels, interests, abilities, life experiences, and expectations for ourselves. I can tell you what works for me, but almost certainly you’ll have to use it as inspiration and adapt it for yourself. Instead of beating ourselves up for why something doesn’t work, let’s ask ourselves “what would work for me?”. What time of day does your energy align with the activity? What about it do you find motivating or tiresome? Where does the resistance stem from? What permission do you need to move forward?
There is no quick fix
I mean, of course I knew this already. And yet, I still asked for the one magic stretch to make all the pain go away. It’s so tempting! Despite knowing better, I have looked for the quick fix in my business so many times (and have spent way too much money trying to get it). Playing the long game is where it’s at. Having a vision that’s meaningful and motivating will certainly help.
A breath can represent many things. I have a client who is finding her day job incredibly stressful. She started a ritual that as she leaves her office for the day she taps the door and says “I’m done for today” as a way of releasing her mind from work when she leaves. A breath can be the pause you need to clear your mind or to take the time to make a decision. It can be an opportunity to notice. It can be taking a minute to hug your partner or pet your dog, even when you’re in a hurry.
What does a breath mean for you?
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